Impossible Questions

At a move theatre, which armrest is yours?

At what point does a day stop being partly sunny and become partly cloudy?

What would happen if Pinocchio said, "My nose will grow longer!"?

If vampires can't see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it rude for a deaf person to sign with food in their hands?

Can a short person talk down to a tall person?

What was Captain Hook’s name before the alligator bit off his hand?

Do graveyard caretakers get a cost of living increase?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

Can an illiterate person really appreciate alphabet soup?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Aren't all generalizations false?

How do you treat someone addicted to counselling and self-help groups?

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled like it sounds?

Shouldn’t monosyllabic be shorter?

Should burn victims get a discount at a crematorium?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

How much deeper would the ocean be if it had no sponges?

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests?

When the police arrests a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If the world didn't suck, would we all fall off?

What does it make me when someone calls me gullible and I believe them?

If a deaf person is taken to court, is it still called a hearing?

How important does a person have to be when they are no longer "murdered" but "assassinated"?

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?