What is Friendship?

In ancient times, friendship was a major topic of philosophical speculation. Aristotle to Marcus Aurelius had deep concern about friendship and how this relationship effected one's life and ethical actions.  Today, friendship seems less of a focus, and more of an assumption.  Romance and sex take center stage, but friendship seems not so significant.

This seems even more so with the advent of Facebook and it's use of relational terms which seems to minimize one's relationship to the most shallow degree.  We are "friends" with people whom we barely know or don't know at all.  We "like" opinions and jokes that we might only have barely understood, let alone approved of.  We comment on each other's status' only barely brushing each others' souls. Is this what friendship constitutes?

Yet is the physical connection to our friends too emphasized?  Just because our friend is across the country from us, does that make us less of friends?  It might be that we have lost touch, but that is less true in our world of internet connection.  Often the internet allows us to connect to people more deeply than when we saw each other face to face.  But are we missing something?  We certainly do not hear the sarcasm in one's voice or the wink of the eye.  Internet connection is little more than glorified pen pals. Does physical presence truly add more to a friendship?  Also, if everyone we know is a "friend" does that minimize what friendship really is?

What is the essence of friendship?  We can have friendships based around one subject, even just a hobby.  We can have a friendship that develops through small talk about one's family.  We can have a friendship in which we discuss the deepest aspects of our emotions, but we never see each other's partners.  What is friendship based on?  A mutual subject of agreement?  Enjoyment of the other's company?  Common activities, whether it be horse racing or drinking coffee?

What is the "social contract" of friendship?  Each relationship has unspoken agreements.  For a marriage it is often sexual faithfulness and mutual financial support.  In the workplace an employer agrees to pay employee for the employee's service and obedience.  What about friendship?  Is there an agreement to agree?  An agreement to be open about certain topics?  A hidden agreement to support each other on certain subjects, even in opposition to each others' families?  An agreement to help each other out in dire times of need?  This "contract" is certainly different with different relationships, but how is such a contract determined, since we almost never discuss aloud how our relationship works, yet we have an agreement as to how it does?

What is the relationship to friendship and marriage or co-habitation?  Is a boy- or girl-friend just a "friend with benefits" or is there more to it than that?  Is an acquaintance just a friend-in-training, or is it a completely different relationship?  

Relationships: Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em

Most of us have had the thought of living on a desert island from time to time.  People just a mess and they make things so complicated.  So full of need, so demanding, so judgmental, so... different than ourselves.  And there are so many of them!  And yet we remain with people.  Most of us live in cities where thousands-- millions!-- of people are crawling over each other like ants, involved in customer relations, traffic, apartment buildings and the internet.

Why are we so involved with other people when it is so hard?  What kind of drive do we have that constantly draws us to more and different kinds of people?  Why are we attracted to the opposite sex when we know that they will act in an insane manner?  

How close do we need to get to other people?  Is intimacy significant, or can we live well with a number of casual relationships?  If we do not have intimacy can we be emotionally and socially mature? 

Do our relationships not only determine our activity, but our very identity?  If we were without any relationships would we be different?  What kind of personality would we have if we didn't have relationships? 

Why does it hurt so much to separate from another person with whom we have been deeply involved, whether it be a broken marriage or an estranged relationship with a sibling?  Why is grieving at the loss of a loved one so painful?  What is it that we are missing when we grieve?  

The Future of Philosophy: The Internet

Both philosophy and theology are dogs on a walk.  It looks like they are in the lead, but any major direction changes are directed by culture.  When we have new ideas, new experiences, major events, that changes the direction of thought in general and philosophy and theology are directed by these cultural markers.

So what questions might philosophy deal with in the next 50 years, given the state of things now.  I suggest that philosophy will be answering these sets of questions because of the direction society is heading in.

One of the areas that is changing everything is the internet.  It isn't just computers, rather the internet is changing how we relate to each other and how we understand relationships.

What is relationship?  Does relationship demand physical interaction? What is community?  Can community be something different than being in physical proximity?

 Is the lack of physical really spiritual?  Is, then, the internet spiritual connection? What is missing in relationship that does not have a physical connection?  Can a relationship be complete if you can see and hear and understand the person without ever touching them?  Do we obtain information about others outside of sight and hearing?  Is that information important?

What is "friendship"? What different levels of friendship is there? Can we be socially and mentally healthy when we have deeper connections with people whom we've never seen than those around us?

If "property" has no physical existence besides a pattern of electrons, can it truly be sold?  If intellectual property is spread throughout the internet, can it be owned?  What kind of ethical regulations determine property that cannot be held or kept under lock and key?

How does ethics change in an internet environment? Besides property, how does one care for another on the internet?  What is the responsibility of one when an idea on the internet turns into a crime in the "real" world?